on the wire

GOAT
Things kinda feel shitty right now, if I’m going to be frank. I’m waiting on some marks I have terrible feelings about, I can’t manage to get any interviews for jobs, and I feel generally directionless when most of the people I know are doing more and moving up and progressing in ways I don’t feel capable of coming close to. I keep bursting into tears at the slightest jab, which is incredibly annoying, and even more so because I can’t seem to stop crying. Everything makes me sad, which makes for a very unproductive and demotivating time. I just kind of keep going to sleep and waking up and hoping something will change. It’s ridiculous. I know I don’t explicitly have reasons to be that upset, and yet I’m constantly on the verge of crying all the time. 

I included that picture up above because I feel happy when I see it.

Your song of the post is Khalid’s “Location”:

$$$$$$$$

I wrote a new piece over at The Billfold, which you can read here. It’s about school and money and clothes, and what could be better? Give it six minutes (according to Medium, that’s how long it’ll take to read) of bathroom reading time. You won’t regret it!

Also, here’s a chill tune for exam season by one of my favourite contemporary composers:

And listen to the album if you need something longer:

prints

I love this little guy. Incidentally, I also have a severe nut allergy. The more you know!

The title comes from the wacky array of prints I’m wearing today: plaid, Magritte heads, the usual. And by the way, I’m, for once, not really tired. I ate a bunch of soup this morning—chicken noodle, not lentil for once—and drove to school. It was a more relaxed morning than usual, and I think that translated to my mood. Or maybe that’s just an illusion of my miiiiiind…

I feel like I should be going to bed sooner, though. I’m okay with waking up at 7:45 AM, but I should be itching to get out of bed by that time to be really productive, probably. The tricky thing is I can’t oversleep, because if I do that too many times I build up a kind of sleep surplus and 1) can’t sleep through a full night anymore like I usually do, and 2) am positively bouncing off the walls with excess energy. It’s best for everyone that I just stick to my standard seven or so hours.

(I’m typing this in a lecture even though all my midterms are coming up and I really shouldn’t be writing a blog post but I feel like I need something to do with my mind for a little while—even just five minutes.)

In other news, I was at kickboxing yesterday with E and he accidentally caused me to punch myself in the face. Whoops. I’m fine, though it hurt at the time.

It’s been a bizarre few weeks. I’ll be back when my Reading Week kicks around. In the meantime, wish me luck on my crusade against the barrage of midterm exams heading my wayin the next couple weeks.

merry merry merry

He is too pure for this universe.

Updated my phone. It sucks. I hate updating my phone, but I had put it off long enough. Besides, I wanted to see all the newest emojis. 

School’s out for now. I’m lounging around and being very lazy. It’s great. I have a lot of non-school work to do too, but I’m just quietly ignoring that for a bit. My mind needs a mini-break. 

Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Also: Happy holidays. My family isn’t particularly attached to Christmas and we are not religious, but it’s still a fun time of the year. Hope you are enjoying it, wherever you are.

an incomplete update from the desk of zhāo wǎn tíng

I feel very worn out right now.

Business school presentations have been gutting me recently, what with all the work and effort that goes into prepping the 25-page written document, and all the market and industry research, and all the calling of firms and editing of wording and financial calculations and figuring out if your four-person group is on schedule and writing analyses and gathering visuals and charts and graphs and determining market strategy and IT NEVER SEEMS TO END.

And then it does. One hour and 36 minutes ago, in fact. The deadline approached, we did the best we could, and sent it in. Now we have 24 hours to prepare a full PowerPoint presentation, rehearse our parts for the spoken performance, and, at 2:00 PM MST tomorrow, we will walk into our examination room with a couple other groups and some senior student judges and give the presentation 40% of our total mark for this particular course relies on.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I seriously can’t wait for Friday. Also, if you ever want to send me mail, feel free. I love reading messages. Thought I’d put that out there, since I’ve been getting a few messages lately and they’ve all been very sweet. ❤

Love you and wish a stress-free week on you. And now, back to business.

Also, a gift: I always, always listen to this when I study or do homework:

And here it is looped, which is the version I actually listen to:

It’s one of my favourite songs ever. I love all of Joji’s stuff.

P.S. I entered a few case competitions at my school since I last wrote here. The first was AICC, at which I didn’t place (lol), the second was the UAHRMA Case Competition, where my team placed third (!), and the third was EDGE Internal, where my team took first. WHOOOOOO! EDGE was right before the last week of work on the Big Business Plan Project, but. We won. Internal. It was totally worth.

(A case competition is a timed competition where multiple three- or four-person teams are all given an identical “case” about either a real-life or fictional company that details a specific problem the company is facing. Teams have a set amount of time to come up with the best solution they can for that problem, along with backup information to support their reasoning. At the end of the time period, all teams present their solutions live to the judges with accompanying PowerPoint presentations; the best teams, in the opinions of the judges, are moved through to finals. I quite like these competitions.)

the accounting student 

A Snapchat pic I sent to my friends yesterday, a.k.a. accountinghomeworkhell.jpg
I’m currently on the bus, which smells disgusting. It is completely dark outside. I have my face buried in my coat with my beanie pulled down low over my head. I am irritated at this long AF commute. 

Updates: I am swamped with schoolwork still, so nothing new there. I wrote this guide on getting a tattoo over at Rookie. You should read it (I say that every time, and I mean it every time). I got a full eight hours of sleep last night. I also cut my fingernails last night (I keep them short, almost too short, always), and I feel unproductive even when I’m doing homework. Is that weird?

My stop’s coming up. Pce ’till skyfall, homeskillets.